#now off to bed cuz im exhausted and they have been making me rot…………

[moldspicy]

i am feeling so blessed,,,,,,,

[crushedsweets]

Awhile back you answered an ask on how other creeps would respond to Toby's death, and I was wondering how they would respond to Kate death?

IM PUNCHING THE WALL. ALRIGHT. warning for death and grief and mourning . . .

im gonna set this after she starts staying at the proxy cabin and becoming friends with more people, rather than rotting in the mines. im also imagining they find her body in the forest, nobody was there when she died.

tim and brian would have a heavy heart about it. sure, they had massive issues with her, but even by time shes 25+, they still kinda see her as a little kid. she was 14/15 when they met her, and she acted like a feral animal till she was like 17. brian got her a job on the farm, tim helped set up a room for her. they'd help toby set up a grave, but overall they dont go out of their way to mourn her - toby has that handled

which.....guides me towards toby... they've known eachother since they were 17-19, and they are like siblings. when she was in the mines, toby would always bring her food and even dragged a whole mattress there. thats his little sister (she is older than him..) and he had always been so so so protective of her. he loses his shit, screaming and throwing shit. is never home, spends so much time at the mines. chops down random ass trees just cuz he needs to exhaust himself enough to stop feeling so much pain. it feels like losing lyra again. he sets a grave up for her, puts her body in it, carves some stuff into a wooden cross he made from a tree he cut down, lays hella rocks all over. him and nina spend a good chunk of time together. nina has never seen him cry until this. eventually, after he's gone for days, he comes back to the cabin and just rots in his bed almost catatonic. clocky has to come collect him

whiiiiiiich now brings me to clocky. she'd find out from nina, since she'd already be in her own apartment by now and tobys not gonna tell her. she'd immediately get nina, get jack, go to the cabin, and try to console toby and nina the best she(and jack) can. has to learn to bite her tongue when tobys mouthing off cuz hes mad she's trying to help. she doesnt really have time to mourn kate at first, until maybe a week goes by and tobys finally eating again and clockys just sitting there and starts bawling cuz kate was her friend too and she had to immediately go into caretaker mode.

nina. screams and cries and needs to have people with her all the time, no matter what. she doesnt feel safe alone cuz she just wants to curl up and die so so so bad. she makes toby take her to the grave(he doesnt want to but he knows kate would be pissed if he wasnt at least a little nice to nina after this) and she just sobs. she holds toby and tries to be like 'its okay its okay its okay' but neither know who shes comforting. she'd print as many pictures she got of kate as possible (not a lot) and try to scrap book it and try to memorialize her like that. just hold photos and pictures and have them in her apartment and cry. give a photo to toby with a letter written on the back telling him how much kate loved him.

similar to if toby died, jack would try to host stuff. make dinner for them all, invite them over, give everyone space to eat and remember her. he'd go with toby to the grave as well, but he's less assertive with his care compared to clocky. less 'get the fuck up, this is making you feel worse' and more 'you know you can come over right? its not good to stay home alone'. toby would come to see him a lot, too. . .

toby would have to take on a lot of her patrols, so he'd bump into ann and lulu a lot. . . ann would tease him a bit like 'ooo is katey in trouble? whyre you here, handsome?', till he smacks the shit out of her w the handle of his hatchet and he grumbles something about her death. ann would shut up after. she'd be bummed out that kates dead cuz she liked her, but not mourn. lulu wouldn't be able to process it. ann would tell her, lulu would cry, then a day later she's asking when kate's coming to visit.

i dont think anyone else would really be impacted, though... jeff/dina didnt like her, she wasnt close with ben, never even spoke to jane or liu... lazari would cry and draw pictures of her, but she'd be okay shortly after, esp cuz jacks okay.

[thatoneskullgrunt]

Hi sorry theres a wholeass rant under the cut. But im leaving it up cuz i need it off my chest.

Its really weird to think that right now if i were at that house, i'd be lying in bed half asleep watching some stupid cartoon until 2am. This past week and a half i would have been doing nothing but rotting my brain away waiting for job apps to get back to me and being nagged to go to college and learn to drive. Yeah sure im broke and physically exhausted and hungry, but holy shit im free and cared for and alive. So, so arcdamn alive.

I dont really know if i'll complete the Island Challenge, ive always had a tendency to drop things part of the way through. But one island is way more productive and fun than i would have been in that house, and it makes me mad that i had to go to regular school and study for a "stable job" while all the kids in my neighborhood got to go on their own gym challenge journeys (yes i know the league is fucked up, this isnt about that). And because of that its weirdly comforting to see league members from my region on this site, and even moreso to know that theyre human, just like me.

I know i have a bit of a ramshamble team. My strongest pokemon is level 14. But dammit these four little fucks have brought me the most joy ive felt in ages, and i guess i wish i'd been able to have that as a kid. Yeah we had the family cats (and Stufful), but because they werent mine i wasnt able to raise them properly and they ended up just doing their own thing. Its so wildly different having a team thats all my own (im typing this with Gun draped across my lap).

Idk why im ranting. I talk a lot about causing chaos and being a delinquent which yes, is exactly what im here to do, but theres so much more to life outside the "real world" than i was expecting. Even if i dont finish the Island Challenge, even if i fail miserably, itll all have been worth it for the feeling of true, genuine, freedom.

And if i do? Maybe I will go back, if only to make up for lost opportunities.